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Posted a few seconds ago
by stephen billinghurst

I can’t help wondering who the son or daughter is, because of the title of this blog, “myfatherthehero”. But that is okay. The main thing is that Mike did invite me to join. I could tell when I met him that he is a man who keeps his word. The institutional policy is to respect privacy. I could not remain in the dark, so, to assist in my own management of my disease I went to the walk. I walked. I met many people. I was able to come away with someone to contact who is genuinely feeling my pain. The hero part, I get that. I wish I knew how to recruit my own family with words of encouragement like this.



No, I don’t think you can; not by me, anyway.  FYI, I prefer to be called SEB.

If I was you, Mr. Bigs, I’d have some familiarity with nature; the mind of a cop, chemistry, something.  Where are we stuck?

Note to similarly disposed investigators: No blog worth reading is handed over to the readers to run as they see fit.  This blog is an attempt to abide by the tenets of the United States Constitution.  There is a spirit.  While on the one hand I have a right, on the other I have an obligation.  It is my understanding that I must not engage in criminal behavior.  We are going to do this in public, not go to private emails.


What the guy had said on that last quote was that he wanted step-by-step instructions emailed to him.  Check this out: as a terminal cancer patient, I don’t need money.  I wouldn’t be able to spend it while I am dead.  Is that clear?  And, as for my poor family, these two individuals are real, not hocus-pocus, not fantasy.

Hey, Bulldog.  Who is using the intelligent side of their brain, the inhibitory cells and not the ones creating excitement?  Information is not intelligence.  Intelligence is an operation in which all secrets of the enemy are discovered, and all secrets we ourselves possess are closely held.  Information is just a word in the lowest category of specialized words, those with either -tion or -ment on them and not my newest ones, those with -ified or -ized.  The root is to inform.  We need that which is informed, and what informs it.  No one supplied those, and as such the case becomes one put together by someone ignorant in chem asking someone they regard as stupid something about a subject they wish to reduce to stupidity.

How can a person promote the use of dangerous and illegal drugs?  Wait.  If you mean morally do something I should be ashamed of, you aren’t going to want to hear how we actually do it.  Before I waste time, I’d like to respond that I neither put my enemies in jail nor kill them.  I change enemies into friends.  We don’t care about a little bit of white powder.  Let’s let bygones be bygones.

What is in the drug war?  Well, in this drug war, Mexico is now the focus.  The 2.5 million Americans now held are irrelevant in favor of 25,000 killed over the border, mostly probably just over the border.  The upshot is that once incarcerated, you can now expect to be forgotten; you can rot.  That’s too bad, isn’t it?

So, these two things happened; one, this morning a car bomb went off in San Diego and a woman is burned.  Two, this week’s Reader has a cover story on Mexico’s drug war history.  Actually, #2 goes back a week, when a 21-year-old journalist was killed, i. he was killed by drug traffickers, ii. journalists are killed to silence them.  There must be some other facts which made this noteworthy.  The demonization process unfolds as a biasing agency affecting all the readers of the newspaper.  They can sell more.  The major fact is accompanied by a pattern of facts in which we may write all the facts down and see that they admit to only a single conclusion.  The bombing is not just writing.  A shooting, while not the same as a writing, is a world away from a bombing. 

She made a mistake when she started the truck even though the door was unlocked.  On the ground all burned, she told witnesses she knew she had locked it the night before.  Since I don’t know how to jimmy a door, and I’d be lying if I said I could easily plant a bomb with a functional detonator and wire it to a car ignition, to me the perpetrator is a professional hit man.  Didn’t he forget to lock the truck back up?  All these facts and more are undoubtably under investigation as I write this.  It’s 11:13.  I know I started before ten, so, I am stupid.  But, I arrived at that conclusion as the stress of fighting got to me yesterday.  Don’t ever engage Colombians in a struggle.  You’ll lose.

I still have to wash my hands of my tabs.  The computer is slowing down.  That’s one thing the computer doesn’t store.  No, I guess it does.  But, browsing history is there for deletion just on one porn link.  I don’t have any porn links in my open tabs.  I don’t *whatever* porn.  Read.  Whang away.  I do not masturbate.  Not standing up, amirite?

“Jaro”?  Mt. Kilimanjaro.  That’s wrong, but the fact is JARO.  That’s all you get on the license plate.  License plate science is evidence of mental illness.  Once you begin to practice, they all laugh.  After you get good, they don’t laugh so loud any more.  It’s no good yet, but dollar bill reading is worse.  If anything, it saves dollar bills, and that can’t be bad.

No, jar-o is a verbal fragment bouncing around in the brain of Paul McCartney.  Whenever Paul gets depressed, he can recall favorite lines he has written and they come to him as old friends do, all friendly and painless.  When I first heard “Wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door”, I thought it was good.  The jar is the word that makes it.  When Paul sits down at the piano these days, he might psyche himself to write another jar-o, but, he won’t.  we are only young once.  These platitudes, cliches, quotations, whatever they might be called, are shorthand for inserting a given moral fact into a discussion which presumably must not be ignored.  Bible quotations used by somebody IMO just reduce the experience of life until you just want to scream.  The world was in a poverty of being, morality and imagination when the Beatles stepped into the vacuum.  Lines like this one from “Elanor Rigby” served to keep the Beatles on top.  They not only did not fall from the top, they took the top further up.  It was as if they were the only ones who could hear this voice which is a fountain of wisdom, often called The Muse.  At the time there was a critical need to take the discussion of nuclear warfare into a more unthinkable place.  The Beatles may have saved the world.  Anyway, it is saved.






















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That’s it, I think.  Except Apple Software Updater.  You don’t want that.  I have Mozilla Firefox with a similar case of zits.  Ten tabs each and ten …browser windows.  Ten back buttons, that’s a thousand.

1. Internet Explorer the program stops working and you could click and lose fatally.  That is, the post after the draft you are adding to, the post, the computer.

  A. My computer?  What do you mean?  Do I like it?  What do you mean?  It’s a square foot.  One inch thick.  I have 99 more in this room.  Why are they so filthy?

B. The computer gets lost on a wrong click; that’s how viruses get in.

C. I don’t use, or I’d know when to wait, and when I don’t have to wait.  In a lab, you have working time (WT) and elapsed time (ET).  That’s what they mean by multitasking.

  1. You don’t—(do, don’t, do, don’t, do), wait, you slow down to a pace the computer can handle.  They write programs all the time, therefore the computer is slowing down for you.  It’s not a “pace” you can handle.

   a.  It’s me hitting keys repetitively, like work.  It’s navigating the internet, they call it.  Ye can Google that, but the pace doesn’t describe thinking, it’s the habitual sedentary imperative, as much for its ability to kill time as for its ability to save it.  You can’t make it.  Here’s what you don’t make (well, I think you don’t make ATP in  a lab, but in a cell.  But, if you die, you must have owed for some you couldn’t pay.  Advancing cell death takes over.  It takes energy to get rid of a dead cell.  The brain probably dies early.  It uses a lot.  If the person is freezing, … the burrow and die behavior, is that your last thought?  Who cares?  We want much earlier in the death, where you are dying but not dead, and could pull out of it.  We want Miff too, but we don’t wish to take this moment for granted.  Like, where is your ATP reserves if you get something bad, and what else explains reduced longevity after a car accident?

This other guy in the news had burns, a typical burrow-and-die scenario.  His boss pays him to torch his house.  So, there is a lot of organized crime around here.  No, you don’t—

Paul Pfingst defends him (asks the judge to convict him).  I remember when he was the DA (see Bonnie).  Obviously, the DA in a corrupt government is in on it.  The media never says “former District Attorney of San Diego”, that’s Channel Nine.  They’re bound to be in cahoots.  I wouldn’t want anybody convicted, if you can come out of that bllodbath without any holes in you, why take the last guy and try him?  He’s just going to write a book.

Do you cut off the dick and the balls with a castration?

Some tabs didn’t show.  I closed the whole thing, losing some.  The completeness of the save-them-all goes ahead and shows my mind, if it’s faithful to it.  What you think of when you can’t think of anything and where it goes from there, along with things you like (not things you like to do), actually go to make up the fact pattern you leave behind.  But, I have been using less back button.

This whole thing is about to close out.  I’m going to notarize my hair shirt.



Water gets into everything.  Does carbon get into everything?


We are doing what we have to do.  We are not doing what mankind has to do.  Of course how a woman would choose to describe ruining your life.

The shitty part of getting old is twofold.  In the first part, the world looks blurry so you think it is blurry, or it’s all uphill.  And, the second part is the opposite.  Your dilemma is that you don’t want to see you.  The shitty part of getting old is traceable to the shittiness of old people.  I don’t want to see anything, especially young dudes my wife is ogling.  I don’t want sports.  That’s why they say ‘beating your meat’.  Wouldn’t you rather get a ringside seat to a guy beating his meat than beating on another man? Let’s go on to inflicting another word.  if it is the problem of a thing and/or its opposite, like, it is shitty, then the spell to do or undo it is shittiostic.



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