Doing Time Heals All Wounds

I am posting every once in a while to let you know I am all right.

I just had a fall.  My left ankle turned under me at the bottom of some steps, when there was a porch with a small step down I forgot about, the kind which supports columns.  I don’t know, maybe some of you are interested in falls.  I banged up both knees, an elbow, and the hand.  The ankle wants to swell.  I laid there and someone helped me pick up something I dropped.  It hurt, but I had painkillers, so, I took one (half at first; driving) finally, but, skinned joints don’t respond to that.  It burned and I had to put on gauze I had for something else.

I am psychic (but other folks are real bloggers and they have been writing some really good posts with lots of information on peak oil and marijuana, cancer, unemployment, etc.), and since this a.m. was before, what?  It was the song, “If I Fell”.  I thought about it, or played it in my head, and I remember that it was John singing in low tones, today.  I was getting kicked out of my wife’s apartment when it happened.  I might have been upset (I don’t think I was, but my wife’s a caregiver and her client also suffers a fall this weekend.  It is an old person’s thing; you don’t know.  They are driving cars and it is the same: much less a secure feeling with the balance.  Was I on marijuana?), …

It is either psychic or it is something that makes sense.  The only system I can come up with for psi is analogous to the brain’s motivational system in a negative way: these are things for which the brain is not responsible.  The purest form of disconnection from causality is to manipulate the arrangement in time of two events such that there is no way of knowing because it came after you tried to know, or something left traces of knowing.  The coincidence in time of events with an earmark for each other is the end of something.  How big are the cycles; are they major (portentious)?

I drove on down the road rather than to go back in the apt. and show her what I did.  The bones just flexed and did not break, so I wanted to get on with it as if nothing had happened for now.  My wife’s a character who will smoke your dope and then invent an excuse to get rid of you.  It doesn’t even matter.  More and more it’s the coup by default.  I don’t even want to mention how one person can be.  She stole my ice coffee and put it back down so my chopsticks would knock it over, twice so’s I then told her what she was doing.  She has massive faults and that is not a permanent excuse.  Part of it is willful.  She doesn’t take criticism well from me.

My room mate showed up.  He wanted a corkscrew (“wine opener”).  My people are easily bored and the sight of me coming up, with my dying attitude, evokes a severe aversion in all of them.  Wait’ll you see me.  But, to hell with their irrational fear anyways.

I am physically better, up to the level of a partial remission (it’s called that on a 50% reduction in tumor volume and no new metastases, but I receive a scan tomorrow, so, I mean about how you feel when asked how you are).  This creates the ‘live like you are dying’ real thing of drinking in every moment.  It does or causes other unique facets of life, drawing it out and allowing for development.  Whatever I want to write, to pretend.  But, I don’t wish to write very often.  It’s kind of private what I am going through.  Putting my situation in context is more sobering lately, with the reckless flaunting of the law pointless and robbed of its relevance.

As I drove away from downtown up Market Street the radio (Jack FM) DJ said something about them (the radio) wearing spangles and would you pay more attention to us then.  This is a play on the uses for feminine wiles, but wasted on the aural audience, because you can’t see.  And he said ‘would you pay more attention?’, and I go, yeah, I’ve got to pay more attention to my feet, that’s for sure; so it seemed psychic.  Also, the cachexia thinned my muscles including the abdominals and I coughed and ruptured myself.  Do I bother to get that fixed?  And, you know, it’s existential.  It only applies to me.  Bloggers (Orlov) criticize the thing of medical treatment for the terminally ill, so there is a societal imperative.  Anyhow, it is called a faulty mind set.

Health Care
Faulty ideas:
Gigantic hospital complexes are sustainable
Neighborhood clinics lack economies of scale
Market principles apply to health care delivery
Medical profession can govern itself
Lay jurors can second-guess medical decisions
Health is insurable
Preventive medicine isn’t a government priority
Pharma companies can set their own prices
Lavishing health care on the terminally ill is a good idea

I can’t put that there. Kunstler I have to throw in there that one is good. The week before it had a problem. He identified Knopf asKnoph, so he got that one wrong. It’s on publishing companies, and a) the high-quality of bloggers rarely correlates with whether they are anything but a social scientist (not a scientist), and b) I took so much Oxycodone (because I could) that I have pleasure waves which aren’t pertinent to this writing. Oh, the subject of psi on a 518 made them pertinent right away: I have twelve people making up my rough idea of who my folks are, and this is with the new mean age with me as the likeliest candidate by far to affect these numbers.
When we have a fall, are these of a nature as to “result” from some blasphemous thoughts? Well, no, by the principle that out loud is there to clearly distinguish what you did. That doesn’t stop most people from believing in the roots of good behaviour wrongly. Some words are bankrupt; among them, “believing”. If it was in there it’s wrong, the whole thing.

What was 518? It makes that date, May 18; a date of personal significance. Of course, when you do fall and it is fall (coming right up), this dimension (time), goes to make up some thing. What that is affects psi by the Jesus problem: how do I convince people that it makes sense to me but you have to be me and I am, so I don’t make a good witness?  For example, shhh, but the cold summer suited me.  I feel better not missing the best days and I wanted it to stay cold and never pass a summer.  I got a sunshine disease and I can’t go to the beach anyway.  I am not saying it’s about me since affecting the weather is not generally recognized as possible.  I should not have to defend idle musing.  Pettiness is not too cool, but that I can’t avoid.  I am not good at using soft soap to get what I want.  There exist losers who feel more comfortable the less compromised their speech is.  They lose; they don’t know the top people to cultivate.  Toppers and the condition of being tops inconveniences many of the rest.  I had a word I forgot (for “convenient”).

me 58

mom 88

dad 88

wilma 84

sib 56

sister in law 50

wife 46

older wife 52

neice and nephew 13

dot 21

That should be 12 (wilma’s the aunt); now:

son 6

Adding up to 576, minus me, 518, May 18 (e.g. 1980, Mt. St Helen’s erupts); the unknown ones make an exact numerological roadblock.

1297 words now, so, this is about finished.

What was going to tie this all together?  Well, on chemistry, I bought $300 worth of lab equipment.

What was going to tie this all together?  Well, it’s a possible explanation for the aversion scientifically oriented readers have for any assertion or proof which detours through your having to be there or be the principle in your own experiments in order to explore rationality.  It doesn’t always work.  I will now die, and that prevents my reviewers from following me.  Hey, you can stay here and perhaps conjure my spirit.  What can I do for you?

There was methamphetamine and “how to make methamphetamine”, so any drug related information fits the topic, and any mind altering information, too; some expect death to be an alteration, so death is a related topic.  These topics are current, but even bigger topics might lurk out there that needs all this; all the manifestations.  I come across as a source, not a manipulator of information.  I come across as a jerk, but the chances of the reader going through this are small and we are attempting to place all things in context.  There is one concept I now recall, whereas before in this post I missed it, and that is the role of anger overtaking reason.

If I get angry, I have momentarily forgotten the large picture.  This picture’s exclusion gets ahead of itself.  Why pick out Hitler so often?  Why pick out anything?  What has someone done?  Before I know it I am often persuaded that I draw the line somewhere.  Bloggers constantly take aim at various targets.  The history of anything real is subjugated to a pristine view uncluttered by the whole truth.  But, holding a position or denying it; having positions with organized opposition, the act of taking sides, is done too quickly.  It is expedient, which can be called arbitrary.  I went to a pathological (with a nod to morbidity) final theory called “Rising/Falling Theory”.  It’s simply the last of three.  The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich existed and I knew of the title.  In doing science the very quiet mind works best.  I don’t think, but verbally inane cliches inevitably arise, this by conditioning.  I preserve them but I am not better for it, I am worse.  If the world had not conditioned me to absorb punishment I would not have a streak of mental illness.

Is the case of Michael Douglas significant?  Yeah.  The world makes more sense now.  We also have a deep-rooted psychological and religious (campsite?  Oh, @compulsoriesondatastreaming) tendency to pigeonhole ourselves in this universe and postulate that universes may be ordered from high to low with the highest being the one in which we are most famous or rich or just don’t make mistakes like falling.  Anomaly or galactic-level normative jolts to the subconscious are framed by the parameters of chemistry; that we can study just the chemistry of Earth and it won’t be wasted because of the theories working everywhere.  People do not generally know that intellectual pursuits are ordered.  If you were “trained” in psychology I know it’s not because people do not otherwise have one.  It must have been that one was trained in torture since they were trained and dad has the bills to prove it.  They are so ordered that only the top can step outside itself.  Having a top field among all fields skews the rest of the fields.  They’ve asked all questions of themselves and put the results up front, leaving all questions yet to be asked.  It is not that the questions have a different answer today.  It is that “today” is in billions of years with 2,3 seconds being the duration of its different regime.  And, Stephen Hawking’s concept emphasized different universes when he left it.  Like, my name’s the same up to a point.  He had to argue with Susskind and it’s in there.  And so, anomalous occurences in the frequency of comets and planet impacts here in this solar system places them for history’s sake at the observer’s age, his forties.  You have S1987A in 1987 (age: 35), Shoemaker-Levy impacting Jupiter 1994 (42), comet 1996 (44) and 1997 (44?), so it was—so it goes, but—would you watch as a kid?  Notice the Hally’s visit was poor viewing, whetting

2010 words

our appetite for what would be good w/o any loss of generality since the next occurrence is also poor but the next after that is good.  We’re going to wait 150 years and not call that forever on a deal of Mark Twain’s, his own comet.  In 1985 it came and I drove my first wife’s BMW 2002 up Mt. Palomar and it was cloudy and the transmission broke.  Einstein was dragged into some comet—eclipse, rather, stuff, on his deal, but it’s not the same as science.  You are forcing everyone in the world to come to terms with reality.  That is ‘for what it’s worth’ and not ‘for all the good it’ll do’.  Reality’s share of good is total; it’s nice if everyone is mature enough to appreciate it when it comes around, and that’ll never be since not everyone is grown all the time.  Sagan owns the cosmos since he was able to specify some engraving which should be carried out of the solar system.

What if it doesn’t?  What’ll we do then?  Since ‘out of the solar system’ does not equate to ‘into the hands of the aliens’, and as a matter of fact equals lost, reaching extraterrestrial intelligence is better the province of psi, whether psi of giant rich research projects or psi of the Jesus whom God has touched and is Himself the evidence, the up versus down of heaven and hell have to be maturely understood as long as you work in the field of defining space mathematically.  Can you occupy it?

Why didn’t I stop my fall?  I once broke my right wrist badly by stopping my fall.  The distance of the drop matching the ankle dimension put the force on like a shot that’s “on” in a game of pool.  There were people there but I was nobody to feel sorry for.  I’d taken my son Nicholas’ access to DVDs I got him away on it being his inappropriate behaviour which got him a spanking and me ordered to leave the vicinity, putting me on my “butt” (as he calls it.  He’s six now), but someone doesn’t want me in the mix and this individual is the really remarkable story involving living your own life and encountering death.  Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.


4 Responses to “Doing Time Heals All Wounds”

  1. sbillinghurst Says:

    I was done; madding somemore. It was the insight of burns, their place in morbidity since the body is hypermetabolic “until the skin closes”. It’s hypermetabolic as long as the tumor is high-volume, in malignancy. The metabolism is running at 98.6 F. The bloodstream runs above pH 7.0. The entire biochem is there to study. I have hardly studied any of it. Genes and mutations are coded, but the basis of life seems somehow separate. There wasn’t any life but then there was, identified as a crossover, identified as a coding event. But I am bored with this. I like explosions, bright lights, smoke smells, and euphoria. Who doesn’t?

    Thematic organization dictates I put down what my wife does. I am doing it last as I have no wish to borrow trouble. She picks up a french fry and puts it too close to me on the table and I put it in my mouth. She has got Siamese cat hair on it and in my mouth it went. To me, the system broke down right then.

  2. sbillinghurst Says:

    It’s Labor Day. My last job was at CityCenter. I did not fall during that time, not fall and got killed. My name’s Billinghurst. Billingsley’s the one who did that. I’m in a union, OEIU Local 12, but am no longer active.

    I don’t feel like working; I don’t have to in the present system (USA). Orlov talks about ‘work to do’ as in there’s plenty, vs. “jobs” in our sense. The internet is basically palaver. It isn’t serious; does not require credentials in order to present ideas. I also think it’s getting slower (to read). It’s too full of advertisements to fill every page; it takes forever to load all those ads and you can’t get back out while it’s computing.

  3. sbillinghurst Says:

    Gloria Jean’s alive at 84; she was in “Never Give a Sucker an Even Break”. My wife’s a grifter.

    How ’bout Susan Miller. I bet she is dead. She’s in it too.

    No biogaphical information exists for this person.

  4. sbillinghurst Says:

    quoting myself:
    For example, shhh, but the cold summer suited me. I feel better not missing the best days and I wanted it to stay cold and never pass a summer. I got a sunshine disease and I can’t go to the beach anyway.

    By the way, the summer wasn’t cold, it was mild. this term is us’d by the petro finance ppl. Thus, it wasn’t bad. Do things coming about due to witchcraft bear evidence of their supernatural subjectivity, or, are they indistinguishable from things as they would occur without human agency? That is, with a number of scenarios for weather, all within normal bounds (or at least not supernatural ), the supernatural action or energy is just in the selection of one over another, with no way to distinguish the affected from the naive. But!

    It is crazy writing to assume the reader can follow my reasoning if I have suspended some natural laws without telling so. I do that to establish a point of reference. You should have heard of Jesus by now, so, if you know that story I can bring it to your attention that you have not rejected this story, and my story is no more fantastic than that. I can’t even read and remember what I meant, say, here:


    But, holding a position or denying it; having positions with organized opposition, the act of taking sides, is done too quickly. It is expedient, which can be called arbitrary.


    I think. No, it’s not the one. I have to say that all this writing was done under the influence of narcotics. See, “expedite” means to put a rush on completing the task, but expedience is the often unspoken reason for justice denied. The judge says, “Why would I lie?” And he does lie, because it gets the case out of his hands fast. Thus, “for expedience” is not your expedience so you can get on with your life. It is to clear the docket so the judge can injure the next party, in a despotic regime. In an argument, no one changes sides merely because of the truth once they’ve taken them.That’s when sides (of a so-called argument) are composed of people, not ideas. BTW, ideas are always bad, and this is why. For a new idea to appear is tantamount to the way fire races through a building. Ideas are already held fast in heads of ppl. The psychological forcing of an opinion destroys the person physically.

    Gloria Jean had baby style permanent teeth, and was billed as being 13 when she was 15. The WC fields movie was late, in 1941. That’s why these girls are alive. But, Susan Miller was born in 1920. If she’s alive, she is 90.

    What is it about life, “and death”? A living thing can’t be stripped down to its essence, or it will die. So, we don’t really know which things are biological life, and which are chemical life. But, unless it’s alive it doesn’t count. when we impute life into nonliving things, it is the supernatural, as if a rock would be strong and water would be weak. From strong—to weak—to dead, we have a false order in which we have elevated a name to the status of a real thing, and then looked for the object which fits it such that gas or vapor fit the category for dead, and lo and behold, yes, all the disembodied souls have the properties of fluids, or, “spirits”. So its wrong automatically, because, it’s artifice and those are always made out of fraud and do not touch down in reality for their creation. Then they don’t even use a little bit of substance, not a single per cent, nor do they utilize a moment of time. They just exist by dint of the secondary animation of a record with ‘a life of its own’, when really, you looked at a moving thing and assumed it started moving when you first saw it. There is no life in that, only in an accelerating thing.

    Watch a person at the beginning of their career; then you don’t have to wonder if any of them are alive. These wise people who were born in 1910 and wrote our drug laws are only a hundred, so of course they can carry on a conversation.

    Alameda doesn’t provide birth certificates for ppl born before 1880. There’s no use for it, and you should obtain the death cert.

    I have a medical marijuana card, but they don’t call it a card; they call it a recommendation. A card or a certificate is just a recommendation; if not a doctor’s, at least that of something in actuality superior to a doctor’s opinion by far, and that is arithmetic.

    “I’d like one of your pieces of paper for me, please. I was born in 1879.”
    “Wait a minute. It says here you need a death rec. It has been too long for the life style. You require a death style.”

    “What? who recommends I die?”

    “Hey this isn Star Wars with all manner of creatures. Remember that? You were only 96 when that came out.”

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